A Survivor's Testimony: article by Kim Campbell
Published on: July 16, 2000
|I wanted to share an article
that I believe is both inspiring and courageous, by someone who is in the
process of healing from ritual abuse. This article is being reprinted here
with the permission of the author, Kim Campbell. My hope is that it will
help educate as well as give hope to others. svali
Note: This article contains discussion of ritual abuse and Christianity.
A CASE REPORT OF DELIVERANCE
My name is Kim Campbell. I am a forty-nine year old man living in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I am happily married; I practice medicine as a Physicians Assistant, and I am a member of Morning Star Testimony Church, Tulsa. Over the past several years, I have also learned how very true it is that I am a Christian by choice.
In April 1993, I learned that I was DID. I learned almost immediately that I was born into a satanic family and was raised in the culture known as SRA. To say the least, my deliverance from this culture was a major test in my life. The past several years have been difficult, but I believe I was substantially resolved about three years ago. But the crisis of my life has marked the beginning of an authentic faith in Jesus Christ as Redeemer and Lord of my life, something I have deeply desired but that has eluded me all my life.
This short essay is my testimony, which I first wrote in 1995. I want this to be an instructive piece for Shield of Faith Ministry of Minneapolis, who has invited me to speak and share with them this coming May. I, most of all, offer this as a testimony of the Lord God's love for me and for all the rest of the Body of His Son. I am utterly amazed at Him - Father, Son, and Holy Spirit - and His rightful commitment to His own glory as God, a glory that He delights to share with me as His son. Me, of all people!! Amazing grace, indeed.
In my satanic ancestry, I came from two families. My public family were hardy West Texans who taught me how to tie my shoes, do arithmetic, be polite - all the normal things most parents do for their children. A knowledgeable observer would have seen the depression, the switching, and the disordered attachment behaviors, but in a way I was fortunate. I escaped being misdiagnosed as ADD and placed on Ritalin. For all appearances, I was a typical (although very odd) child.
However, beneath this public veneer, I lived as a direct descendant of a very old culture, which has survived in an underground form for several thousand years, a culture as old as mankind itself. In this culture, people worship satan as god, and the form of the worship and the entire lifestyle, as old as it is, is steeped in deep violence. As a participant in this culture, I was exposed to every abuse, trauma, and demonization imaginable within satanism. The culture is unbelievably and ingeniously evil; virtually everything about this culture is humanly damaging. And I responded in the same way children do (and would) in this culture. I dissociated.
Over the course of my life I experienced trauma as an infant to sharpen my dissociative potential, coerced violence both as victim and perpetrator, high-tech medically-based mind control programming here in the US, often in government facilities and clinics, and at the Tavistock Institute in the UK, and participation (via indoctrination into the Kaballa, culminating in a series of occult initiations) into the oldest, most pristine form of satanism, the old Sumero-Akkadian Babylonian mystery religion. Layer after layer, all these disaggregated identities were built and crafted to become my personality.
Inherent in this culture is the presence and power of demonic spirits, and they became an integral part of my life and even my being. In a culture addicted to power, demonic spirits offered the ultimate power trip. If, in American culture, people are addicted to comfort, status, and prestige, in satanic culture, people are addicted to demonic power.
Satanism has pervaded western civilization. Satanism is the foundation of all we would regard today as paganism in ancient and contemporary forms. It has been growing for thousands of years, quietly weaving its way through the very fabric of the culture and the power structures of the nations in the West. It has adherents in all walks of life, in all incomes, and all social strata. It has exerted a profound influence on the intellectual life of the west for the past several hundred years. Their thoughts and writings have shaped Western civilization from the Greek philosophers through Augustine, Aquinas, the christian mystics of the thirteenth century, and much of the charismatic movement of today. Descartes, Spinoza, Kant, the philosophers of the Enlightenment. and many others arose from satanic culture. Polynesian religion, animism, spiritism, American Indian religion, Mayan and Incan culture, ancient Egyptian culture, and Greek religion all grew out of satanism. To think that satanic culture is only about abuse is a fundamental misunderstanding of satanism and the role of dissociation in human history. Satanism has influenced politics, economics, art and music, through the spiritual-psychological process called dissociation, and dissociation is as old as human culture itself.
This was the culture in which I was born and raised. And to say the least, this culture is antithetical to the Kingdom of God, and I was born into the ongoing battle between these two cultures. Even though I was also a functioning satanist, I was also a seminary graduate (M. Div. 1976). While professing to be Christian, and my public life showed the discordance of living in irreconcilable cultures. My love for the Lord was hollow, as I wanted to love Him and be loved by Him deeply, but I was unable to resolve my fears and doubts as to His existence and character. While my public life was filled with outward relative success, my spiritual and interpersonal life was marred with failure.
The emotional shock of learning of my SRA/DID was profound, but it launched me on a path which I could only call discipleship. For the first time in my life, being and becoming the Christian I wanted to be, took first priority in my life. It would be very hard, very difficult work, but I knew that getting free of the occult and the dissociation was my work as a disciple of Jesus Christ and that I would have to do it as a Christian. If I were to rely on the even best methods and techniques of psychology or psychiatry, neither I nor a traditional therapist would have enough money or lifetimes to work through this mess. Even today I have yet to know of a traditional approach penetrating the deeper cores of an SRA personality. If I were to be free, I had no choice to be free except by Jesus Christ.
Because of this, I took my discipleship with Him extremely seriously. Time after time He called me to holiness and insisted on the power of His love - through the forgiveness in His Son - to deliver me from the power of sin. Day after day, after work and in lieu of "living normally", I stayed home to read and pray, to exorcize demons and reclaim my humanity, to communicate and fuse with accessible self-states, and afterwards come to terms with the reality of my life. I read and went to conferences to learn all I could about MPD, ritual abuse, and the work of healing, so I could apply this to my own deliverance. I went to Church to hear from the Lord, since my Father chose to use "the folly of preaching" as the ultimate in cognitive restructuring. I went to corporate prayer where the presence and the power of the Lord worked visible miracles in my and many other peoples' lives. And I scrutinized my entire life in the light of the Living Word of God. Every sin, whether from my conscious self or as passive influence from other self-states, was rigorously subjected to the sanctifying work of the Lord. After all, SRA/DID is sin par excellence, and as a sinner, I needed repentance and forgiveness most of all. As it turns out for me, discipleship has been deliverance.
When I reached an impasse or when the obstacles were too difficult for me, I would schedule a session with my pastor, Doug Riggs, and the power and love of the Lord God would come through this man. Rather than do endless interviews with alters or focus on abreactive work, the Lord would lead us on deep penetrating raids down through my layers into the primal events of my personality. The work consisted of vigorous exorcism, prayer for my Father to connect me with my other self-states, and a Biblical existential counseling about the impact of SRA on my life in the light of the Person of Jesus Christ. Through my pastor, the Lord could take me far deeper than I could go on my own. Through him, He could speak His specific, contemporary word of grace to me as a dissociated man. And through his voice and touch, my Father could be real to me. Many times the Lord gave my pastor knowledge or strategy that was essential in resolving those crises. The Lord works though people like this (and many other great people in the Body of Christ) for people like me. The Lord is not in the least intimidated by darkness; after all the Gospel is that He loved me while I was still in darkness. The Lord has been doing all this in the setting of a small, apparently insignificant local Church of thirty or forty people (including children), most of whom are SRA or at least dissociative. We had come together to live in such a way as to hasten the Lord's coming for His Bride, but we also had been constituted in the occult to frustrate the will of God for the Church and bring in the antichrist instead. As Christians we have prayed for each other, counseled each other, and admonished each other, and as satanists, we have controlled and done violence to each other. In “working out our salvation with fear and trembling”, many times we have been forced by the Living Word of God to remove planks from our own eyes while we fumbled to remove cinders from each other's eyes. All this is the Lord's refining us into a repentant people. The Living Christ has worked in this Body Life, just like pre-crucifixion Capernaum or post-Pentecost Corinth.
So the Lord worked in the life of one of His disciples. Bit by bit, my heavenly Father was progressively delivering me, literally, from the moral and demonic power of sin by the person of His Son, the Risen, Living Jesus of Nazareth. All through the experience, I was becoming astounded at the grace and power of God through His Son.
After eighteen hard months of work and counseling, the multiplicity persisted. The Lord had told us to be bold. Both in what I read and in what I heard, I realized that my biggest obstacle was myself, not just the hidden internal me but the conscious external me. Frankly, I was afraid to learn how bad I had been and perhaps still could be. So the Lord impressed me to confront those very things about myself that I feared the most.
It was worse than I had thought.
My concept of SRA was that insane or frankly evil people took nice, good children and turned them into satanists. I was wrong. Hiding under the surface layer that we had labored eighteen months to dismantle was the real, genuine core of my humanity as a satanist. The truth was that the defining reality of my childhood (perhaps fifty percent of my preschool waking hours) was being incested and indoctrinated into a Sodom and Gommorah culture within a brick West Texas two bedroom house; these aspects of myself had little need to be abused in ritual, as I already was living, growing, and worshiping in the 'normal' of an occult pagan culture. All the splits and experiences I had recalled, renounced, and reconciled up to that point in the first eighteen months were but a window dressing - a protective, therapy-defeating maze to protect this central, substantial aspect of my self. I had stepped into the living reality of my generational core of evil. It was more than merely a demonic deposit for me; it was my very world. In my being I was an historical descendant and perpetuator of my ancestors' incest, violence, and idolatry. And as such I was as intensely demonized as the worst of Canaanites.
The Lord's grace has been an amazing thing. Whether or not anyone else does, my God and Heavenly Father Himself absolutely believes in the efficacy of the sacrifice of His own Son on the cross for the totality of my evil. As much as I have been repulsed and disgusted with myself, the Lord's love and kindness toward me did not change. Rather, it became richer, deeper, and more powerful. The Lord Jesus refused to call my sin anything other than what it was; He allowed no excuses, He tolerated no irresponsibility on my part. He didn't need to cut me any slack or allow me to cut any for myself, since His sacrifice and new life was more than sufficient to deal with my sin. So, I began to learn first-hand that evil isn't the greatest power in the cosmos. As the grace and power of God freed my faculties to hear and believe, I could grasp the larger picture of His relationship to me. Only with that encouragement could I continue looking at the truth of my life and continue on the path of deliverance.
This, then, was the structure the Lord uncovered . First was a surface presenter system, a "good me" of personalities that worked, functioned, learned, married, divorced, and lived as a Christian; this was also "the me" that committed to do the work of remembering. Next came the external dissociative shell; this was the residuum of all the violence and demonization that happened to the presenter to make the multiplicity more elaborate. This was the part that would wear a therapist out, appearing to make progress but leaving the generational core undetected and undisturbed. Deepest still was my ancestral, generational core, the historical continuation of a family and culture that had been living in Sodom and Gomorrah for generations completely oblivious but opposed to everything "the good (surface) me" had known as good, true, and real.
The attachment theorists would say that people are defined by their bonds, and I believe this is true. My core of identity has been marked by the emotional, affective attachments to the key figures in my life. This core is my original identity, made up of the bonds and affective ties to those closest to me. My mother was indeed Lula Vieta Pauline Russell Campbell, born 1917 in Farmersville, Texas, and died in 1977. My real, biological father, was not the man I had known as my father. My true father, the man whom I loved and called father, was Edouard Phillipe de Rothschild, and I was his bastard son, named Phillip Eugene. This man, Edouard, was my father and I, a product of occult incest, was one of the hundreds of thousands of both legitimate and illegitimate offspring of this powerful financial and occult family.
What was it like living in this household? During much of my childhood and adolescence, I lived with my father on his estate in France. I can remember his talking with me as a young boy, I remember his love of life and his passion for everything human. In his soul he believed that humanity was god itself; he could talk for hours (and often did) about the phenomenal accomplishments of the human race. He would take me to his library and spend long periods displaying the miracles of being human. I loved his passion. I loved, too, the physical relationship we had, held fast in the emotional power of incest, which in this culture was “normal” and to be admired. I listened to and adopted his lusts for power and even his hatred toward God. This man relished hating God, and I was his bastard son. Such was the true generational core of my ancestral iniquity and, being a Rothschild descendant, it was maximally demonized.
So how does a child of such a family become a Christian? A peculiarity of satanic families is that they introduce their own children to the Gospel, in order to attack the very relationship that is the emotional core of genuine faith. I recall my father, with none other than Herr Josef Mengele himself coaching him over his shoulder, leading me to Christ. His first awkward attempts often misfired, earning him (of all people) a tongue-lashing par excellence from Herr Doktor. But one day he succeeded; I saw the miracle of God as my Father, and my heart went out to the Holy One as my Father, my “Abba”. Then by distorting the message of the Scriptures, they lead me to “put the old man (the unregenerate human nature, in Pauline theology) to death”. I did undergo death, an induced physical death followed by a medical resuscitation. Then I, a tender child just over two years old, was given the “choice” to love my Heavenly Father who led to death, or my earthly father who meant life. Over a protracted period, my father reinforced both yearnings - to be the Lord’s and to be his. He built in an incredible tension in me between these two diametrically opposed affective bonds, and I was not allowed to dissociate them to achieve a reconciliation. This was my core conflict - an attachment disorder of the first magnitude; out of this conflict emerged, through structured abuse and medically driven behavioral conditioning, everything that was my alter system.
Thus, the very origin of my identity as a Christian and the most wonderful and pristine experiences of my receiving the presence of the Holy Spirit and the Eternal Life of Christ, were within hours, sequestered off, thus no longer available as the central organizing focus of my personality. These were the primal attachment experiences from which my Christian identity was built, but through being re-indoctrinated back into satanic culture, they are the events upon which my entire SRA edifice was constructed.
I was present at my father’s death in 1988, receiving his power and the commission to carry out my destiny in the grand conspiracy of my family. Like their other children, I played an key role in my family’s revolt from God. When I watch CNN, it startles me to see so many familiar faces now on the world stage in politics, art, finance, fashion, and business. I grew up with these people meeting them at ritual worship sites and in the centers of power. Financiers, artists, royalty, and even Presidents, all these dissociated people work and conspire today to bring in a new world order where being human is the highest good and God is a faceless abstraction. These people, like me, are SRA/DID. Like the hundreds of thousands of this occult family's other biological children, I had my place and function within this clan's attempt to control the world. My efforts and my families’ efforts strove to have a member of the European nobility of the Hapsburg family assume the preeminent position over humanity, a position called the Antichrist by Christianity.
While others were seeded into government, academia, business, or entertainment, my place was within the Body of Christ. I was to be a focus for spiritual power and controller of a cult within this Church. In this Church have lived people who I have known all my life to be the controllers and power centers of both the Rothschild family’s false prophet and the antichrist. I was dedicated in my childhood and groomed all my life to protect this vital link to the false prophet's and the antichrist's ancestral, spiritual power. All of us borne from satanic families and groomed for complementing roles for decades - all brought together as a local church to use the very Body of Christ as the means to bring in the false prophet and antichrist - amazing!
Many dissociated Christians in the Body of Christ hold similar corporate spiritual, occult positions as part of the satanic new world order. In my being I embodied the luciferian morning star within the Church. I represented the presence of all the other satanists who were related to me in the morning star; their spirits were present in me in the Church. Constructed through ritual but empowered by legions of spirits, I was a human and spiritual focus of corporate satanic energy into the Body of Christ.
My Rothschild family built my corporate spiritual occult position as the morning star and the very foundation of my entire system on my personality as a Christian. And not just as the false, programmed hyper-pious, hypocritical, or superspiritual Christian of my presenter systems. No, the deepest center of my core as a Rothschild satanist was my acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord while I was a mere child at the tender age of two years and four months.
This has been supremely critical in my deliverance and in my life as a Christian. This event - my conversion to Christ - is the central defining event of my life and personality; I deeply believe it is the foundational event of my life. Deprived of this defining event and identity, I had been stripped of the most important behavioral pattern or "template" of my Christian faith and as such had lost the single most important organizing element of my personality. I can only speculate how my deliverance would have been facilitated if we had worked on my biological and affective Rothschild identity and my childhood conversion as the very first primal dissociative events to be resolved in my counseling. Had we resolved my conversion and the experiences around it as my very first PDE at the start, I believe my entire system of dissociation would have been stripped of its central demonic, psychological, and biological power and would have nearly collapsed.
I am not in any way unique in my “system” or experience. In many others who come this far in their deliverance - all of us have had a similar structure and similar experiences. All us received Christ in our childhood and were subjected to strong affective conflicts in our attachments to God and to our true parents to such a degree that we split and were enveloped in kosmokrator legions; the alters who elaborated from this split were the satanic foundations of all other alters within the entire personality system.
For the Rothschilds, and for satan himself I am sure, this was the ultimate sadistic irony in using Christians to bring in the antichrist, but there is a certain demonic brilliance to it. By seeding the Body of Christ with his occult followers, satan has been able to generate the spiritual and sociological forces that are required to bring in the false prophet's and the antichrist's reign. This conspiracy also retards the Body of Christ from growing to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ and satisfying the heart of God for His people. From these satanist infiltrations both inside and outside the Body of Christ spring the demonic energy, the heresy, and the actions that will culminate in the great apostasy of II Thessalonians 2:3 and then the revealing of the son of lawlessness, the antichrist.
Within all the mainline churches, the ecumenical movement, the Word of Faith movements, elements of the Vineyard Movement, and especially within the charismatic heresies of a "spiritually resurgent" Methodism and Presbyterianism (among others), - within the whole 'Christian occult' of the 'unity through signs, wonders, and miracles' movement that has arisen from Oral Roberts' heresy and ministry - within all this, satan has been fulfilling his delusion to be worshiped as god. The visions and messages these people put forth are the demonic projections of lying spirits expressing themselves through the mouths of lying prophets, and the miracles are acts of sorcerers who don't know either the Father or the Son. The Lord Jesus spoke about such false prophets in Matthew 7 saying, "Many will say to Me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles? And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.'" (Matt 7:22,23) As sincere as people in these movements may be and as wonderful, ecstatic, or sublime the experiences may be, these movements aren't from God. For good reason "judgment begins at the household of God". Through SRA/DID satan has infiltrated the church with his false prophets, complete with counterfeit spiritual gifts, and has practically hijacked the church for his purposes.
So, not only are the political, social, and economic foundations for the antichrist in place, but the spiritual and religious foundations are already firmly in place, as well, inside mainstream Christianity.
This picture of a world going to hell and dragging the church with it is indeed a bleak one but the Scriptures are unmistakably clear that the period just before the Lord's coming will be like this. To think that the Church will be anything other than a small enduring remnant in an age of deep violence and darkness is an utter misreading of Scripture.
The Lord God is no fool. His foreknowledge and the grace that flows from His Being are more than sufficient for the real Body to endure and withstand such evil. My life is living proof of that. What else can deliverances like mine and others, done in such a place as this small church, signify except that Jesus Christ is alive and well, indeed?! What else does it mean that He sovreignly chooses to give "the unfathomable riches of Christ" to the lame, the crippled, the despised, and the shattered by making us His covenant people "in order that the manifold wisdom of God might now be made known through the church to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly places"!? (Ephesians 3:8,9)
The victory hasn't ultimately been in the overcoming of the demonic and dissociative bondages of this satanic conspiracy. I think that the real joy of the Father is that, to overcome such deficits and accomplish such a task, we have been brought by the Lord God Himself to a moral victory over satan and everything in his power through our relationship with our heavenly Father and with each other. This moral victory is seen in the love we have for each other within this small assembly.
The obstacles are indeed formidable to getting free of ones' demonized satanic roots and in faithfully enduring as the world goes to hell in a handbasket. But all this is worth it, because our Father has, out of this morass, built a corporate people who have, in our very beings and relationships, defeated satan morally and spiritually. From this struggle - both personal and corporate - the Lord is realizing His desires "...that they may be all be one; even as Thou, Father, art in Me, and I in Thee, that they also may be in Us; that the world may believe that Thou didst send Me. And the glory which Thou hast given Me I have given to them; that they may be one, just as We are one. I in them, and Thou in Me, that they may be perfected in unity, that the world may know that Thou didst send Me, and didst love them, even as Thou didst love Me." (John 17: 21-23)
The real Christian life and the Lord's will for me that eluded me so long because of my multiplicity, has come to me, because by the grace of God I chose to overcome the evil within me. "...He who overcomes shall inherit these things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son." (Revelation 21:7) Despite the manipulation and betrayal, my childhood decision to trust in Jesus Christ was right. There is nothing special about me; I am no Christian superman. There are people in this small assembly and others who have displayed greater persistence, courage, honesty, and humility. There are many others, both dissociative and non-dissociative, in other churches whose response to His call to discipleship has led them to extraordinary depths of suffering and love in the Name of Jesus Christ; of such the world is not worthy.
All my life the Lord has called me, just as He has been calling to everyone else, to trust and obey. How could I say, 'No' to Him?? How could I ever?! The Father's Son and His grace have boxed me in and taken me captive. His claim over my life was what preserved enough hold on reality to believe that He really exists, that I owe Him my life and love, and that His grace is greater than anything that exists within this age or any other.